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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But then, things take a turn. I overhear some folks talkin’ about the local wildlife. Apparently, there’s been a rise in badger sightings near Mount Stuart. I’m like, “Badgers? In Bute? What’s next, a bear?” I mean, come on! But then I remember the time I saw a deer on the road near Kilchattan Bay. So, maybe it’s not that far-fetched.

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